[Holy cow, how are we gonna follow that post? And he’s such a shy boy in person, really! You would never KNOW!]
WikiLeaks made a big splash last week – and when we say “big splash”, we mean the kind that happens when you urinate upwind of yourself in a hurricane – when they released what they described as a trove of US election-related emails from the sinister Stratfor “strategic analysis” organization, but put the release behind a paywall.
We have subsequently gone over many of these emails released since 10 October and let us tell you, there’s very little worth reading in there. These are not the State Department files! You’ve heard of “cryptoanalysis”? This is “craptoanalysis”!
In fact, what strikes us the most about the Stratfor emails is the thoroughly pedestrian nature of their “analysis”, which is based almost entirely on their opinions of the daily news as printed and broadcast by the major capitalist news media outlets. There’s very little here that would raise a pimple on the back of the neck of a senior editor at any decent daily newspaper in the world.
If these hijacked emails are a representative sample of the quality of “analysis” that Stratfor provides its paying customers, then they are getting swindled big time. But don’t let them know this fact. Let them think that the daily schedule of Wall St. sock-puppet Barack Obama is Top Secret! Don’t tell them that any schoolchild can get the same info off the White House website every day.
And don’t tell Stratfor’s subscribers that knowing two or three days in advance who’s going to appear on the Sunday “interview” shows like “Ass To the Nation” and “Those Freaks in Washington” is not “inside information”: the panelists on “The View” get the same emails every week, probably.
To us, this is the big story on Stratfor: they don’t know shit. And they’re charging ignorant corporate scumbags big dollars for “inside information” known to every pipsqueak journalist in the country. You could get better information from overseas if you just used the Bing Translator to covert the daily news from whatever language into English!
And there are 5 million of these goddamned useless emails to read? Ugghh, pass the quaaludes & Jack Daniels; this is gonna be a long day!